bynkii (bynkii) wrote,
bynkii
bynkii

HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?

So new gig, big license for CS3, installing Master Collection.

This is, without doubt, the shittiest installer I have ever dealt with.

No, really.

First, there are no less than THREE executable launches. THREE. It launches, has me authenticate BEFORE I SAY WHAT I WANT TO INSTALL, if ANYTHING. Once that's done, there's some big fucking custom progress bar that reminds me of Strata 3-D circa 1998, that's just there to LAUNCH THE INSTALLER. The real one. On a brand new MacBook Pro 2.5GHz, with 4GB of RAM, this takes about a minute. FOR WHAT?

No one knows, it's a meatcake thing. Of course, it's Adobe, they can't just use the fucking OS-provided installer. Oh no, heaven forfend. So I don't know what's installing where, there's no fucking log.

It bitches if Firefox is running, but not Webkit. Note, I'm not even installing Acrobat 8, I already have that. Do I know WHY the installer cares? Of-fucking-COURSE not, this is Adobe. Fuck you and your convenience, we make fucking Photoshop, Illustrator and all the rest. You can just line up and kiss our fucking asses if you don't like it.

Evidently, when it asks for DVD four, if you click OK before the disk mounts, it FAILS THE INSTALLER, and you have to re-do the entire thing. Why? Because by disk fucking four, it hasn't completely installed anything. That's four DVDs by the way. Not a single fucking program completely installed. So not only is it a fucking pain in my ass to use, but it can't even do the one thing it was built to do right! IT DIDN'T INSTALL SHIT!

EVEN BETTER: The installer can only recognize that there was an attempt at installing. It has no fucking logging to keep track of where it left off, so it's COMPLETELY repeating the ENTIRE install process. This shit has taken OVER A FUCKING HOUR at this point. There are people being BORN in less time than it the Adobe installer to do it's thing. I can install HUMANS faster than I can install CS3!!!

What

The

Fuck?

Did Adobe decide that Fred Ibrahimi had the right customer relationship model and that daring your customers to use something else is cool?

Look, I know people think this is hard, but I will now give you the big fucking secret of installing. You ready? Here it is:
Copy a bunch of files from <source> to <destination>!
That's it. That's the big fucking secret. Copy files from point-fucking-A to point-fucking-B. Microsoft gets this right, Apple gets this right, companies that are one fucking person get this right.

How THE FUCK does Adobe fuck this up? How do they make copying fucking files from a fucking DVD or 4 not only fragile, prone to failure and tedious in the extreme, but also slower than an Atkins fanboy taking a shit?

I'm sure someone will try to explain how "Oh, installing is a lot more than copying files". Bullshit. There's, at most, less than a handful of steps, all involving things like "Can this computer actually handle this application" and "Let's make sure we didn't fuck up the permissions" and "Let's clean up any temp files we created". Everything else is extraneous bullshit that some moron dreamed up and has nothing to do with installing software. Activation, custom progress bars, all that crap is just bullshit that gets in the way of COPYING A BIG BUNCH OF FILES.

Holy fuck, installing CS3 is my FIRST experience with it, and I already hate the entire fucking thing. Is this the effect the CS3 team is shooting for? "Hey, let's make our customers want to re-enact the end of "Fargo" with us as Steve Buscemi! YAH BRA, THAT FUCKING RULES!!!"? GIHI^&(HL:IT&P:H AAAAAAGH!

I like some of the individuals that work for Adobe, but holy fucking hell, I'd rather be a taste-tester for "2 Girls 1 Cup Part 2: The Habanero Highway" than install Adobe products. Let me put it this way: When the fucking Acrobat installer, from a team that could give a fuck about Mac users, is a shining example of competence compared to the CS3 installer, you know CS3's installer is fucked up.

There better be a fucking handjob in this suite after this bullshit, that's all I'm going to say.


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