bynkii (bynkii) wrote,

Missouri to Gays: Give us your money and your labor, but keep your filthy ways hidden from the view

So Marriage is now constitutionally protected from the ravages of the gay community. Oh well, and it would have been nice to have some better taste in the bridal registries.

But no, seriously, this is a load of shit.

However, if you're evil, and well, I am, there's a nasty lining to this cloud.

See, when you make a law, it can have, well, unintended side effects. Because there's...well, see, we just legalized discrimination based on one of two things:
  1. Sexual Orientation
  2. Gender
I'm not sure which at this point. The intent was sexual orientation, but the reality may be gender.

So let's go with sexual orientation.

If I was a gay business owner, I'd shitcan all the straights who worked for me and put up a sign that said "No straights allowed." If I was a gay apartment owner, I'd do the same thing...

"Hi Mrs. Jones, this is John, how are you today?

Oh good, good, so I have a question for you, are you straight? I mean, like as in not gay?

Well, I figured that, since you're married and living in Missouri, but wanted to make sure. ANYway, so here's the deal. This is now a gay-only community, so you and your family have 60 days to get out of the complex.

No, you heard right.

Actually, according to that amendment that just passed, I sure as shit can discriminate based on sexual orientation.

Ah, you voted for it. So you understand this little issue.

Well I'm really sorry you thought that only gay folks would get bit by this. I guess maybe someone needs to bone up on her law studies. But I think you should set that aside until you move.

What? Oh yes, I'm gay, so it balances out. I don't have the same rights as you, you don't have a place to live anymore. See, we're both screwed. Oh, you may find it hard to get a new place...I'm not the only gay person feeling a tad put out by your people.

Well it may not be fair, but I own the complex. So I get to decide exemptions. Besides, life isn't fair. If it were fair, you wouldn't have legalized, nay, constitutionally protected discrimination, and we wouldn't be having this chat. But it isn't, and you did, and we are.

Oh no, please, go ahead and sue...but understand the problems with that:

1) It can't be decided by a Missouri court, because it's in the state constitution, so more than likely, the US Supreme Court has to decide it.
2) If you win, you lose, because then the US Supreme Court will have said that discrimination based on sexual orientation is unconstitutional, and your amendment is gone. Buh-bye.
3) If you lose, you lose, because you think I'm the only gay person with money in this state? I may buy me more places just to lay a little suffering on you straights.

sixty days, or your crap is on the lawn, and I'm calling the cops. Have a nice day

Ah, the sweet, sweet chaos. This is why I'm not a civil rights leader. Because I don't buy into that whole stoic suffering bullshit. I am a FIRM believer in sharing the motherfuckin' wealth man, and if I'm suffering, you can bet your ass that I'm going to share that with as many of the people causing my suffering as possible.

So gay people in can spend your money, you can work here, but keep your filthy monkey love habits hidden away from decent folks. And go fuck over a straight today, it's the Missouri Way!

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