October 29th, 2004

southpark john

It's an entryriffic day

This is just so...perfect for so many reasons...

Your LJ Horror Movie (you are the main target in the movie) by shard_of_truth
the storytellersamcrut
the first to get killedultraferret
the virginpoorheather
the one having sex when killedfleurrette
the given "nude shot"squigglz
the given "gore death scene"kobold
the one thought as the killer but isn'trachelcarina
the one framed as the killer but isn'tchaobell
the screamerscarred2112
the humorous oneredtheapostle
the killer/monstermercyspeaks
Quiz created with MemeGen!
monk john


So Halloween is coming, and I'm going to what will be a kickin' party at idealsin's. I like Halloween, it's a lot of fun.

But I can't just be normal about it. First there's my costume. Two socks safety-pinned to my shirt.

Static Cling

I used to do more complex costumes. Costumes involving squibs. "Hey john, what are youBAPBAPBAPBAPAAAGHOHMYGODWHATTHEFUCKHE'SDYING!!!!" "Oh, I'm going as a gunshot victim"

Another year I carefully built a fake forehead and buried a string in it so at the proper time, I could pull the string and..."OHMYGODHISFUCKINGHEADJUSTCAMEAPART".

It's really cool when people faint because of your costume. I felt bad about the therapy they were going to need, but hey, I have MUCH love for Tom Savini.

But I got tired of needing weeks to prep. Of tasting fake blood for days.

So now the reaction i get is..."What the hell are you supposed to be?"

"Static Cling"

silence..."BWAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAA...that's cool...fucking stupid, but cool as hell".

and I can be out of costume in five seconds.

The other great part is taking horrid advantage of my designated driver status, and calling people who are sucking on the beer bong pussies because it isn't full, or agreeing with stupid drunk girl that we indeed all SHOULD be naked. (hasn't happened here yet, but trust me, drunken twentysomethings are like a canvas to me...and my camera)

hmmm...my horns aren't sharp enough yet :-)
fuck you!


One more thing...I take the Bus to work.

As I walk from the stop to my home, I pass through a parking lot. Today, there was a green neon.

In the neon was a woman.

With her eyes closed.

Her mouth open.

Her head tilted back.

Her pants around her knees.

and both hands in her crotch working away like mad.


I hate being tall enough to see inside of cars as I walk past them....there's no amount of sandpaper that will scour the image of a local dipshit checking her vaginal oil in a green Neon.