April 8th, 2005

monk john

Here's a shocker, LJ drama

I finally got defriended. Well, I'm not sure it's the first time. It's definitely the first time I was told about it.

It was really cool too. You could just feel the 20-something righteous fury BOILING through the page...

That's it...you're gone...all you do is whine in 90% of the posts in my journal

It took a couple minutes to register just...hm? Pardon me? OH...WHO defriended me. Ah, no prob...oceandream9 was the spirit of light smiting the wicked.

ANYway, took a few to register what she was on about. (I had just gotten back from volleyball practice, I was tired.) Normally, it's all drama about sex or drugs, or something like that. I really do recommend getting on her friends list, it's some really entertaining shit. In one post, she natters on about how she's so happy she's off drugs, then in the next says how people should be tripping when they watch "The Cat with Hands". I'm not saying she's WRONG, but for someone talking about being clean, it's kind of amusing.

The "I whine too much" was interesting. 'Cause it's kind of like the Pope bitching me out for wearing a funny hat. (Okay, if he wasn't like DEAD...I don't think zombies scold well.) I mean, the last six months, have been the same drama...my family sucks, I met/fucked a cute guy, on drugs, off drugs, my job sucks, I can't control my life, on and on, mix and match, whine, whine, whine, whine, WHINE. What you gradually notice is that the people trying to point out that some, well, most of her problems are kind of self - inflicted just go away. Probably because they realize that fish have a better chance of playing basketball than OD, (how potentially appropriate) does of pulling her head out of her ass and taking control of her life.

(Great example...after months of a journey through her remarkably unstable emotional state, she declares she's going to try HALLUCINOGENS. Now, to anyone who's dealt with that particular class of substance, if you don't have your dark corners thoroughly lit, this is just such a bad idea. Tripping when you're an mentally fragile fucking mess is a bad idea. Of course, about 10-15 people tried to point that out. I was one of them. Who does she listen to? All the sycophants telling her that she would become so in touch with her self. Did she have a bad trip? Of course. I shoulda said "I tried to warn you", but teaching a pig to sing, etc.)

So now, it's 1600 sycophants supporting every fool thing she talks about, and telling her that "You're so STRONG". Because enablers are SO good for you to have around. (Of course, 90% of the guys want into her pants, but that's just men. "Look, woman, me want pussy". It's kind of a background idle process in our brains..."I could fuck her...better get some gas...Damn I'd like to fuck her...wonder if "sin city" is still playing...I'd fuck her...better get that report done at work..." it's just the way we are. Before the guys trying to play the passive agressive "Nice Guys don't think that" line start up, yes, yes it is. I didn't say we ACT on all those impulses. But they're there.)

Yeah, yeah, I know, she'll be talking shit about me for weeks, or whining about me, how I tried to act nice, but really I'm a mean evil scumbag. Or some psychobabble bullshit with the words "pathetic" and "lonely". I imagine her poor bastard of a boyfriend, (now THERE's a patient motherfucker right there. Bet he's got a really rich inner mental life. Makes it easier to tune her out. Of course, since being a dom turned her on to anal, he's got some bonuses there.) will say something affirming, or something about how if i was there he'd tell me off/kick my ass, or both. Whatever. But, since I know she's about useless at good profanity, i'll do her work for her. What the hell, everyone else seems to. I'm a no good, dogfucker of a pinheaded cocksucking crackheaded sonofawhore. She's got bigger tits, I cuss better. We all have our talents. But please, I am what I am. Always have been. Part of that is "asshole". It's what I'm good at. Well, one of the things I'm good at.

I think that I started egging her on to defriend me after this inane post that turned a blowjob in a parking lot into a wonderful purifying experience that reaffirmed her as a woman, a strong powerful woman...pardon me...phew, almost puked on my fucking keyboard. I, and quite a few people who use her as amusement all said the same thing..."IT'S A BLOWJOB YOU SILLY BINT!!! It was you sucking cock in a parking lot like a ten dollar crack whore, not some fucking mystical experience. Stop reading Marion Zimmer Bradley, it rots your mind."

Yeah, she's part of that whole "Sex is a mystical thing that reaffirms me as a woman". Meanwhile, every guy for six miles is saying, "Yeah baby, you're a strong woman, now shut up and keep sucking." Oh, and spare me any arguments that guys aren't like that. We are. If you're sucking our dicks, the ONLY thing we care about at that moment is that you don't stop. We'll agree to any fool fucking thing you say, just keep sucking the dick. Sex is sex. It doesn't validate shit. It doesn't elevate shit. It doesn't change who you are as a human being good or bad. It's great, it rocks, and like everyone, I love it. It's really nice when it's with someone who cares about you. But it's just sex. You want an elevating experience, ride in one.

Earlier posts about her period being her "cleansing time" pretty much showed that she was waaaay into that whole "anything a woman's body does is empowering and uplifting." Wonder how that plays into her pissing on people for money. Maybe the whore part wasn't too far off? (Note, it's not like she's alone here. There's squads of women who have turned every fart, snot, and crap into some fucking mystical experience. Everything their body emits is fucking holy water or something. luckily, they're easy to spot. They're in the back seats of cars saying shit like, "When I suck your cock, i'm taking you into me, it's empowering, I OWN your seed." I guess a dick in the mouth makes you deaf or something, 'cause they never hear the snirks. But yeah, there's a shitpot of little high priestesses of the mystic bullshit spouting this crap. I almost feel bad when they realize the truth. But the look on their faces takes care of that.)

So you have a young girl, surrounded by people who agree with everything she does like fucking bobbleheads, and what a surprise, she gets herself into the most amazing situations. Like a modern - day "Perils of Pauline". She's a part time dom, oh no, her "boss" accidently hooked her up with a nutcase and gave him her phone number and address. Gee, THERE'S a shock. When you don't run your life, others run it for you. But it seems to have given her the illusion of a spine. It's one of those "grrrl power" faux spines, but it's better than nothing. Here's a clue...women who are really secure in themselves don't have to TALK ABOUT IT EVERY FIVE MINUTES. But even worse, she's got shit like HPV, and evidently latent TB, and does she use condoms? Oh fuck no, she don't like them. 'Cause when you make the simply stunning choices in partners that she has, who needs protection? Her empowerment will protect her I suppose. That one bothered me, but again, she's not unique. Read any of the sex - related boards, and you'll see that particular view everywhere. "I don't like condoms, so I'll risk it." That's like playing russian roulette, but with a gun pointed at the OTHER person too.

She's a one - woman microcosm of drama and pathos, a living example of what happens when you don't have anyone around you to say "You my friend, are fucking your life up by the numbers, making really fucking bad decisions, and you need to pull your fucking head out of your fucking ass." It seems her parents may have tried, but got blown off as being "unsupportive". They probably were, it's not like you grow up to be a bundle of neuroses without some long-term help. But it's almost sad.

She however, by herself is not sad. She is in desparate need of a couple of assholes in her life to disagree with the bobbleheads, but she's not sad. What's sad is that she's just part of a very large crowd. That there are millions of women just like her, THAT, is the sad part.