June 5th, 2007

monk john

I say this *as* a parent

Dear Parents without a damned clue:

This will shock and amaze you, but...your kid is not in fact universally welcome. There are places that adults go with the lack of children being one of the reasons for going. Bars. R-rated movies. Midnight Movies. Wine tastings.

I know that you believe your child is a precious unique flower.

Well, Unca John is here to tell you that genetically, the difference between your kid and the baboon watching them with blood lust is relatively minor, and between different humans, nearly non-existant. There's 7 billion or so people in the world, and from what I've seen, most of you could be replaced with a small shell script, or perhaps a balloon animal, much less an actual human.

If you can't get someone to watch the kid, then well, too bad. Welcome to being a parent. Sometimes, you get screwed more than you bargained for. If you can't handle that, I recommend not spawning, you're obviously not ready for it.


Oh, and yes, for the love of christ, stop the fucking whining every time a titty bar or porn store opens. Sweet jesus, I have to put up with enough cutsey immature kid-oriented bullshit all damned day. You want more family friendly shit? Then stop acting like every strip club is the same as me stabbing your yardape in the damned eye with a rusty sport.

Christ, if your kids whined as much as you do, you'd...wait, never mind, you already put up with it.