August 17th, 2007

monk john

Is anyone really surprised that

OMFG, EA appears to have been full of shit about the release dates on its Mac games, and is, in some cases, lying to people and saying they're already released?

Come on people, no matter how many times he says he loves you so much he just can't bear another man looking at you, he's going to keep hitting you and banging that stripper on the side. He doesn't love you, but he does know what to say to make you think he does. Stockholm Syndrome is not the way to go through life. You want someone who loves you? Go with someone who's always been loyal and caring. Bad boys just break your heart and your nose. Really.
monk john

Dear Smokers

Today, I had the pleasure of, once again, getting your old moldy butts caught in my shoe, and once again, the unalterable joy of dodging still-lit butts flying out of your car while waiting for the bus. Last night, the multiple instances of watching you use the earth as your ashtray showed me the just how kind and considerate you all are.

So when you all start whining and bitching about various ordinances that ban smoking, and tax your little habit into the fucking stratosphere, my reply is simple:




Next time, how about you all police yourselves, and not litter your detritus all over the fucking landscape.

As well, the next time I get some fucktard lecture about how smoking and tobacco are both legal, and how you have some fucking imaginary right to smoke, I'm going to go get a big fucking bag of Levi Garrett, and show you another tobacco habit, in long streams all over your clothes and hair. Because if YOU have the "right" to coat me in smoke that I didn't create, 'cause it's legal, then *I* have the SAME "right" to cover your ass in tobacco spew that you didn't create.

Somehow, I don't think they'll be so fucking blase about that. Hypocritical jackasses. Tax them more and make them wear bubbles on their heads.