October 11th, 2007

monk john

Ballmer Envisions A New Course For Microsoft

Tell me another one Steve, I never get tired of this story.

Does anyone outside of his paid assistants really give a rat's ass what Ballmer has to say on anything besides what brand of moisturizer he uses on that great shiny skull of his? I bet Skeletor would love to know, as the S-man has some wicked dry scalp. Come on people, Ballmer's about as relevant as someone bitching about who won the county "Hustle" dance contest on disco revival night, only with worse taste in clothes. Ozzie's not much better, (he designed NOTES and GROOVE. Exactly WHAT does Ray Ozzie know about designing software for HUMANS? That's right, NOTHING).

Here's everything Ballmer will say for the next ten years:

"Blah, blah, cloud, blah, blah, services, blah, blah windows is still the center of it all, blah, blah, Zune/Xbox/Live/<insert me-too product>, blah, blah, thin clients suck unless they talk to windows, blah, blah, Open Source is a marginal group of fanatics, blah, blah, Oh yeah, we make stuff for Macs, blah, blah, I promise, the stock price will stop sucking any day now."

It's all he's said for the last few years, why should the next decade be any different?
monk john

Frozen Jesus on a Stick

Damn dude, at least make me wait a day before finding yet another reason to use my "Steve Ballmer - Dumbass" tag.

What's next, he's going threaten to sue Chris Burke for personal image infringement?1 It could happen, Ballmer's just that stupid, hell, it already sounds like Enderle is writing his speeches.

1) calm down people. obviously chris burke is far smarter, humorous, talented, and more sane that ballmer will ever be. it's just a shame that ballmer keeps doing a "single white female" on chris...it's gettin' kinda stalkerrific, ya know? chris, if you read this, i'll understand if you're offended that i compared you to ballmer, but it was either you or young frankenstein, and these days, you're the more interesting, not done-to-death reference.