bynkii (bynkii) wrote,

Things you learn...

So last night, I'm talking to mercurialmind on the phone, and we are talking about yards. I say "I like trees and bushes everywhere, I hate grass."

Then...then kids, it goes off into what the fuck? land...note that this is not a PERFECT record of what was said, but it's close...

"You can't have bushes near your windows"

"Sure you can"

"No, 'cause if you do, there will be faces pressed up against your windows masturbating on your house"

"'ll...have...masturbating faces?"

"Nooo, the peeping toms will be looking in your windows and masturbating on your house"

"What the fuck?"

"I saw it on CSI, there are peeping toms everywhere."

"What, you mean like some secret society of wanking wankers just waiting for that rhododendron bush by your window to get tall enough so they can run over and fwapfwapfwapfwapfwapfwapSPOOOGE?"

"Yes, so you'd have to do your Karate on them."

"But...I don't know Karate." (I know, I know, it's all the same to most, but it's not to me, I really don't know Karate)

"Then do your ninja stuff on them"

"But I don't know "ninja stuff"."

"Then we'd have to get a real ninja to sneak up on them and beat them with their sword"

"What, you look in the yellow pages under "Anti-Wanker Ninjas"? Besides, what if the masturbators see them?"

"You can't SEE a ninja, they have ninja powers"

"Ninja powers"

"Yeah, they're turned on when they yell that ninja thing"

"Yell WHAT ninja thing?"

"You know, HI-YAA"


"Yeah, they yell "HI-YAA" and then use their ninja powers on them"

"Your neighborhood must be a VERY busy place, what with buses dropping off Ninjas and masturbators, fwapping and Hi-yaa-ing at all hours of the night"

"It HAPPENS, it really DOES, they masturbate on your HOUSE"

"Unless you have a ninja"


"You're fucking stoned, aren't you"

"Nooo, I'm not high"

"Yes you are, you're fucking high, and TV is rotting your mind"

"Nooo, I'm not high"

"I'm going to sleep now"

Normally, she's not...whatever the word to describe that condition is...but after a really long day, I think her brain just gets stressed out and decides to play.
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