bynkii (bynkii) wrote,

Even more of a dingaling than Enderle

As we've all heard by now, during the recent Apple event, during what was an unprecedented Q&A with Steve Jobs, Tim Cook, and Phil Schiller, someone asked:
Why are you not participating in Intel Inside program and not putting stickers on your Macs?

Now, I want you to visualize this. The three major players at Apple up on stage, doing a Q&A, and that question comes up.

In terms of "who would do that", it's right up there with ripping a loud, stinky, wet, sounds-and-smells-like-you-shat-yourself fart during a wedding just as the bride is about to say "I do". Not a quick one, where you can look around and pretend it wasn't you, but I mean a long one. Where you have to pause, take another breath, and start up again. Love in her eyes, parents crying, she leans in towards the man she's about to cleave her life, her very soul to, opens her mouth, and THFWAABABABABABABAABBABAABBABABABABAPSSSSHHHHHHH.

To be fair, this was not the only stupid question asked. For one, I honestly think that at any press conference, you get five good questions, and the rest are all crap. This one was no difference. But sometimes you hear a question that is just so...mind-numbingly stupid, that your brain actually starts doing the whole OMGBADTHINGFILTERITNEVERHAPPENEDITNEVERHAPPENEDERASEERASE thing. Because it's such a stupid question. It actually is now the proof that debunks the theory of "there are no stupid questions". I mean think of how astounding it is. Until the end of humanity, when someone says "There's no such thing as a stupid question", someone else will be able to say "I beg to differ. The infamous "Why don't you have Intel stickers on your Macs" question to Steve Jobs in 2007 was in fact, a stupid question", and the original person will have to say, "Wow, you're right, I forgot. There is in fact, such a thing as a stupid question". With one moment of stupidity, someone literally changed the world. Okay, they changed it by being that kid you hated in school, the one who just had to ask a question, because heaven forfend that the only questions asked be of the "not asked by him" variety. But still, he changed the world. You don't get many chances to do that, even if you're Steve Jobs.

I have to say, I'm in awe. Think of the levels of stupidity reached with that one question. It's mind-boggling, and I'm no stranger to stupid. I've been hit by cars over five times. I've owned leisure suits. I even had 8-track tapes. I know stupid. But this? This is like thinking you're a good guitar player, and then realizing you're in the room with Jimmy-Freakin'-Page.

Who was this moron? Who was this sultan of stupidity, this ruler of retard, this duke of dumb?

Was it Rob Enderle, well - known idiot, and contortionist? NO!
Was it Robert Scoble, owner of the +5 Bray of Doom, and destroyer of eardrums everywhere? NO!
Was it Bob Keefe, national correspondent for Cox Newspapers? COULD BE!

Yes, that's right, Bob Keefe, national correspondent, former technology and business editor, with almost twenty years in the news business is the proud owner of that question. There's no doubt, because in true "real" reporter style, he identified himself before asking the question. as an aside, why do so many nimrods have the first name of "robert"? is it some kind of bizarre genetic tag? Don't take my word for it, here, listen to the audio, courtesy of Dan Moren and Jason Snell of Mac Publishing. Listen closely to Steve Jobs stumble over the answer, so great is his astonishment at the stupidity just thrown at him like some Hylobates-launched feces. That's right...Keefe's question was so stupid, that it momentarily rendered Steve Jobs speechless. Somewhere in the middle of his evil lair, Steve Ballmer is screaming "I DON'T CARE WHAT IT COSTS, I WANT KEEFE ON MY PAYROLL, AND I WANT HIM THERE NOW". Disproved a centuries-old theorum and rendered Steve Jobs speechless. There aren't enough letters in the word "stupid" to adequately relay the stupidity of a stupid question that can render Steve Jobs speechless.

Somebody give Keefe a raise and a new helmet, lord knows, he's earned it.

Just stop letting him go out in public, or near a computer. Stop him before he stupids again.

  • New Physics!

    Arachnivistic Velocity The speed at which an arachnophobe retreats from a spider. Can be expressed as: A v=1/D a Where A v is the speed of the…

  • Fuck Jaws

    He was a pussy...i give you true seaborne terror.... HOVERSHARK WITH FRICKIN' EYE LASERS!!!!! RUN AWAAAAAAY!

  • Wait, wait, wait

    I thought those darned illegals were taking away jobs that "Good Americans need and want", that they were denying us paying jobs in hard times. It…

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.